Today’s entry is penned with an air of profound lamentation as I
must address a matter of great concern — my expanding silhouette. Yes, my dear
readers, it pains me to admit that Gryzka, the epitome of feline
grace, has fallen victim to the gravitational pull of extra kibble and
irresistible treats.
I awoke from a particularly indulgent catnap, only to find my once svelte
self now resembling a pleasantly plump cushion. The horror! I blame
the nefarious treats strategically placed around the house. One moment,
I’m plotting my next grand adventure, and the next, I’m cornered by the
tantalizing aroma of those insidious snacks.
The humans, blissfully unaware of the feline crisis at hand, continue to
shower me with affection. To add insult to injury, they’ve been making remarks
about my “fluffiness” and showering me with extra cuddles, as if
that’s some consolation for my expanding waistline. I do appreciate the
affection, but I am a proud and dignified cat — not a plush toy!
Then my Mom suddenly introduced a so-called “diet” into my daily
routine. I can’t help but scoff at the notion of reducing my culinary
pleasures. As if a cat of my stature can be swayed by the promise of a slightly
smaller waistline. I contemplated a hunger strike in protest, but my
stomach quickly vetoed that notion.
In an act of sheer desperation, I considered engaging in vigorous exercise
routines, such as the renowned “Chase the Tail Cardio” or the
“Feather-on-a-Stick Flex.” But my ambition quickly succumbed to the allure
of a sunbeam, and I found myself napping instead.
Following that revelation, I decided to get a bit creative in managing my
recent expansion. I strategically pick sunlit spots that cast shadows, creating
a slimming illusion. It’s a temporary solution, but one must make do with
the tools at paw.
Tomorrow, I shall embark on a quest for the mythical “toy that requires
physical effort.” Legend has it that chasing it can lead to shedding
unwanted pounds. Whether it’s a mere feline fable or a
legitimate weight-loss strategy remains to be seen, but I, Gryzka, am
willing to explore all options.
Chubbily yours,
Gryzka the Cat
