Something strange happens every September.
I have noticed it for years.
August ends.
The days become slightly shorter.
And suddenly...
Humans lose their minds. π
They start buying notebooks.
Folders.
Pens.
Storage boxes.
Calendars.
Planners.
Labels.
Little containers for other little containers.
And then they announce proudly:
“This year, I’m going to get organized!”
πππ
Oh, humans.
You are adorable.
You actually believe this is going to work.
π The September Notebook Ritual
It always starts with a notebook.
Not one notebook.
Several notebooks.
A human walks into a shop and sees a beautiful notebook with flowers on the cover.
“Oh!” she says.
“I could use this for planning.”
Then she sees another one.
“This could be for ideas.”
Then another.
“This one could be for my goals.”
Then another.
“This one is so pretty!”
Suddenly she owns seven notebooks.
I have inspected them.
They are all empty.
Completely.
Magnificently.
Empty.
✨π✨
Meanwhile, I have one cardboard box.
It contains everything I need.
I sleep in it.
I sit in it.
I scratch it.
I hide behind it.
I occasionally eat things near it.
That is what I call multifunctional organization.
π️ The Folder Situation
Then come the folders.
Humans apparently believe that putting something inside a folder means they have organized it.
They take a pile of papers from the table.
They put the papers into a folder.
They feel accomplished.
“I finally sorted those!”
No.
You moved them.
There is a difference.
πΎ
I have watched humans do this for years.
They have a folder called:
IMPORTANT DOCUMENTS
Inside it are:
- an old receipt,
- a dentist appointment card from 2019,
- two birthday cards,
- a takeaway menu,
- a warranty for something they no longer own,
- three mysterious pieces of paper,
- and one photograph of me.
Naturally, the photograph is the most important document.
I approve. π
π§Ί Storage Boxes: Humanity's Favorite Lie
Then humans discover storage boxes.
This is where things become serious.
They buy a box.
Then another.
Then another.
Then they put things into the boxes.
Then they label the boxes.
Then they stack the boxes.
Then they forget what's inside them.
Six months later:
“Where did I put that?”
I know where.
In the box.
Which box?
The box.
You know.
The box you organized.
The one labeled:
MISCELLANEOUS.
π
There are now fourteen boxes labeled miscellaneous.
Humans have created a new species of storage:
The Mystery Box.
No one knows what's inside.
Not even the person who packed it.
π·️ And Then Come the Labels
Humans LOVE labels.
They label everything.
Kitchen.
Bathroom.
Office.
Documents.
Cables.
Craft supplies.
Spices.
Cleaning products.
Sometimes I suspect humans would label me if I stood still long enough.
CAT
Thank you.
I had not noticed.
π
But labels have one major weakness.
They assume humans will put things back where they belong.
HAHAHAHAHAHA.
That is an adorable theory.
✨ The Great September Planner
The most impressive part is the planner.
Every September, humans buy a fresh planner.
It is beautiful.
Clean.
Perfect.
Untouched.
The pages are full of possibilities.
Week 1:
Monday — Work
Tuesday — Work
Wednesday — Pilates
Thursday — Important Task
Friday — Finish Project
Everything looks wonderful.
Everything looks under control.
Then comes October.
The planner contains:
- “URGENT!!!”
- “CALL SOMEONE”
- “DON'T FORGET”
- a coffee stain,
- a shopping list,
- three crossed-out appointments,
- and the word WHY?
πππ
By November, the planner has become a coaster.
By December, it is holding a collection of receipts.
By January, humans buy another planner.
And the cycle begins again.
π± Meanwhile, Cats Have a Superior System
We cats don't need planners.
We don't need folders.
We don't need storage boxes.
We have a highly sophisticated organizational system.
It consists of:
1. Food time.
I know exactly when it is.
2. Nap time.
Basically whenever I want.
3. Inspection time.
Whenever something suspicious happens.
4. Snack time.
Whenever a human enters the kitchen.
5. Emergency zoomies.
Usually at 3:17 a.m.
6. Strategic sitting.
On whatever object the human currently needs.
Laptop?
Mine.
Notebook?
Mine.
Important document?
Absolutely mine.
Newly folded laundry?
Especially mine.
πΎ
π§Ή And Then Humans Make the Biggest Mistake...
They start cleaning.
This is where I become concerned.
A human suddenly gets energetic.
She picks things up.
She moves furniture.
She sorts drawers.
She cleans shelves.
She removes things from my preferred sleeping location.
She says:
“I'm decluttering.”
I say:
“You're destroying my infrastructure.”
πΎ
Then she throws away a perfectly good cardboard box.
A box!
A magnificent box!
A box that I had personally approved for sleeping.
Humans are incapable of understanding the importance of real estate.
π¦ The Box Incident
Last September, a human bought six expensive storage containers.
Six.
She proudly assembled them.
She organized everything.
She stood back and admired her work.
Everything looked beautiful.
Everything was neat.
Everything was labeled.
Then she left the room.
I entered.
I saw the containers.
I examined them.
I thought carefully.
And then I found the empty cardboard box they had arrived in.
Obviously, I chose the cardboard box.
π¦❤️π
The expensive storage system was ignored.
The cardboard box became my bedroom.
This is called quality control.
π§ Gryzka's Theory
After years of observation, I have reached a scientific conclusion.
Humans do not actually want to be organized.
They want to feel like they are about to become organized.
There is a difference.
They enjoy:
✨ buying planners
✨ choosing pretty notebooks
✨ arranging pens
✨ labeling boxes
✨ making lists
✨ watching organizational videos
✨ saying “I'm going to start fresh”
The actual organizing?
Not nearly as exciting.
Cats understand this perfectly.
We don't pretend.
If something is messy, we sleep on it.
Problem solved.
π
π My September Organization Advice
If humans truly want to become organized, I recommend the following system.
Step 1: Buy one notebook.
Not twelve.
One.
Step 2: Write down what actually needs doing.
Step 3: Do one thing.
Step 4: Take a break.
Step 5: Feed the cat.
Step 6: Take another break.
Step 7: Admire your achievement.
Step 8: Completely ignore the remaining 47 tasks.
This system has been successfully tested by cats for centuries.
πΎ Final Thoughts from Gryzka
September is the month when humans convince themselves that everything can be fixed with stationery.
They buy planners.
They buy boxes.
They buy folders.
They buy labels.
They buy pens in seventeen shades of beige.
Then they spend three hours organizing their desk instead of doing the thing they were supposed to do.
And honestly?
I support it.
Because while they are busy organizing...
I can sit in the middle of the desk.
π
On the planner.
πΎ
Next to the pens.
πΌ
And occasionally knock something onto the floor.
Because someone has to make sure the system doesn't become too organized.
You're welcome.
Love,
Gryzka π―πΎ
Head of Household Organization, Unofficial Department of Strategic Chaos
