Spurka vs. Kitka: The Autumn Wrestling Championship

Ladies and gentlemen, furballs and fluff enthusiasts,

Welcome to the greatest sporting event of the season:

**The Autumn Wrestling Championship (Living Room Edition).**

Your host, commentator, and completely unbiased judge (ha!) is… me, Gryzka. 🐾

Round One: The Stare-Down

The contestants step into the arena (translation: the carpet).

Spurka: weighing in at “too much kibble,” master of the belly flop technique.

Kitka: light, fast, and annoyingly spry, with a tail that doubles as a whip.

They lock eyes. Tails twitch. Mom shouts, *“Don’t knock over the vase!”*

(The vase is already doomed.)

 Round Two: The Pounce

Kitka goes for the sneak attack! A sideways crab-walk shuffle, then—BAM!—a leap onto Spurka’s back.

Spurka responds with his signature move: the **dramatic flop of doom.**

Unfortunately, the flop lands half on Kitka, half on the TV remote. Channels change rapidly. The humans panic. The cats continue.

Round Three: The Furniture Hazard

Spurka chases Kitka around the couch. Kitka counters with a climb up the curtain. The curtain, being loyal only to gravity, rips. Points deducted? No. Style points awarded? Absolutely.

I remain poised on the armchair, cleaning my paw. I am the referee. I am also the winner.

 Round Four: The Chaos Crescendo

Spurka rolls Kitka into the trashcan. Kitka emerges wearing a tissue like a cape. The crowd (aka me) gasps. A superhero has entered the arena!

Spurka tries to counter, but he’s distracted by the sudden appearance of a crinkly plastic bag. He attacks the bag instead. Kitka takes the opportunity to declare victory with a dramatic butt wiggle and a triumphant meow.

Post-Match Analysis

* Vase: destroyed.

* Curtain: destroyed.

* Remote: possibly possessed.

* Human nerves: shattered.

* Winner: officially Kitka… unofficially ME, because I sat majestically, avoided chaos, and looked fabulous the entire time.

Closing Thoughts

The Autumn Wrestling Championship will return next year, assuming there’s still furniture left to climb. Until then, I’ll continue training by practicing power naps and perfecting my death stare.

Yours in majestic impartiality,

Gryzka, Referee Extraordinaire