After years of gracing furniture, judging your life choices, and supervising your bathroom visits, I am pleased to announce my grandest achievement yet:
🎉 I HAVE LAUNCHED MY OWN MERCHANDISE.
https://gryzkahissandtell.creator-spring.com
Yes, you heard correctly. My face. Your shirt. My quotes. Your coffee mug. My attitude. Your problem.
💼 Why a Shop? Why Now?
Well. After my 237th sock chew, 812th nap, and 3 AM hallway zoomie session, I had an epiphany (between hairballs): "Why limit my domination to just one apartment?"
So I whispered the idea into my human's ear while she was asleep. Naturally, she obeyed. And now, The Gryzka Collection™ is here.
🧦 What’s in the Shop?
Here’s a small taste — not of tuna, sadly, but of greatness:
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T-Shirts with quotes like
🐾 “I shed, therefore I am.”
🐾 “Staring is my cardio.”
🐾 “I ate the sock. You’re welcome.” -
Mugs for your disappointing human coffee (why not serve me instead?)
🐾 “This mug is judged by Gryzka every morning.” -
Tote Bags that scream style, sarcasm, and “I have at least one cat hair on me.”
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Stickers – perfect for laptops, notebooks, or slapping on the vacuum in protest.
🐾 Why Buy Gryzka?
Because supporting me is cheaper than therapy and 100% fluffier. Plus:
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Every item comes infused with spite, elegance, and imaginary catnip.
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Part of the proceeds go to a good cause: my snack fund.
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Wearing my face is like wearing armor made of sarcasm and superiority.
💬 Real Reviews from Imaginary Customers:
“This mug changed my life. I now fear my cat more than my boss.”
— Human, probably
“10/10. Would wear Gryzka’s face to formal events.”
— Another victim of feline hypnosis
“The T-shirt whispered ‘you forgot the litter box’ in my sleep.”
— Unsettled but satisfied buyer
📢 Final Words from Your Supreme Overlord
If you truly love me — and I know you do, because I’ve seen you try to get lint off your black sweater — you’ll visit my shop, buy a thing or three, and show the world that you answer to a small, fluffy dictator with world-class whiskers.
📦 [Visit the Shop Now] – Before I nap and change my mind.
🚫 No refunds for chewed socks. That’s part of the Gryzka Experience™.
With purrs, passive-aggression, and global aspirations,
— Gryzka
🐾 CEO of Meowchandise, Dreamer of Chaos, Princess of the Sockpile
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