Meow-etiquette: Gryzka’s Guide to Polite Behavior

 

Today was quite the adventure, and it all revolved around that pesky thing my human calls “Etiquette.” You see, I’ve been reading this new book, “Meow-etiquette: A Cat’s Guide to Polite Behavior,” and I couldn’t resist giving it a try. The author promised it would make me more charming and well-mannered. So, with a newfound sense of purpose, I embarked on my quest to be the most polite cat in town.

I woke up early, and instead of my usual morning yowling, I decided to give my Mom a gentle headbutt as a wake-up call. I mean, it’s much more polite than meowing in her ear, right? Well, she wasn’t too thrilled with my headbutt, but I tried!

After breakfast, I decided to join my human at the table. I delicately pawed at my food and attempted to use a fork (clumsily) to eat my kibble. It wasn’t long before I realized that humans don’t like it when you steal their food. Lesson learned!

Later, I thought it would be courteous to hold the door open for my Mom when she went outside. I got a little too carried away and ended up accidentally locking her out. Oops! She didn’t seem to appreciate my chivalry.

In the afternoon I tried to give my older sister Kitka a friendly handshake. Unfortunately, she thought I was attacking her and hissed at me. Not the reaction I was hoping for in my quest for politeness!

 

For dinner, I made an effort to eat my meal with impeccable table manners. I licked my paw, swiped it behind my ear, and then used it to delicately pick up a kibble before nibbling it daintily. My human just stared at me with a bemused expression and said, “You’re not fooling anyone, Gryzka.”

Before bedtime, I tried to tuck my Mom in, just like the book said. I climbed up onto the bed and nuzzled her face with my whiskers, but she sneezed and nearly knocked me off the bed. I guess I need to work on my timing!

And there’s that other thing I can’t quite figure out. I mean, I’ve got the best seat in the house, right on my Mom’s face! But for some reason, she always seems to object. I really don’t understand why. It’s a puzzle for another day, I suppose…

Well, it’s been a day of triumphs and mishaps, but I’m beginning to realize that maybe being myself is the best way to be polite. My human loves me just the way I am, quirks and all. Who needs a book to tell me how to behave when I’m already the best Gryzka I can be?

I’ll keep working on my manners, but I’ll never stop being the charming, goofy, and lovable cat that I am. Meow-etiquette, you’ve taught me a thing or two, but you’ll never change the essence of Gryzka!

Purrs and headbutts, Gryzka the Cat