Freud Was Right

 Another day of being the glorious, magnificent, and absolutely indispensable Gryzka. Honestly, I don’t know how these humans would function without me. It’s as if they’re completely oblivious to the fact that their entire lives revolve around my whims. But alas, they are only human.

Today began with the usual: me graciously allowing them to feed me at the crack of dawn. They acted like they had something better to do, but really, what could be more important than ensuring my breakfast is served promptly? Nothing, obviously.

After breakfast, I settled into my usual spot by the window. I spent a good portion of the morning gazing out and contemplating life, while they stumbled around doing "work." Sigmund Freud once said, "Time spent with cats is never wasted." Clearly, he was onto something. Every moment they spend adoring me is a moment well spent.

However, I noticed a significant drop in attention when one of the humans dared to answer an email instead of stroking my luxurious fur. The nerve! I remedied this by knocking over a plant—just a little reminder that my needs come first. Naturally, they rushed over to clean up, which gave me the opportunity to look them square in the eye and give them my best “you should be ashamed of yourself” stare.

Later in the afternoon, I decided it was time for them to take a break and focus on what really matters—me. So, I curled up on their keyboard. Honestly, the way they protested, you'd think I was interrupting something important! But, as we all know, anything that doesn't involve me is trivial. They eventually got the hint and gave me the ear scratches I so rightfully deserve.

As the day wound down, I permitted them to sit on the couch with me while we watched some moving pictures on that big glowing box. They call it "TV," but I call it “Gryzka’s Throne of Attention.” I even allowed them to rub my belly for a full ten seconds before giving them a light swipe—just so they don’t get too comfortable. Gotta keep them on their toes!

So, as I settle in for a well-earned nap, I reflect on another day of expertly managed humans. They may not realize it, but I’m just making sure they live up to Freud’s wisdom. After all, time spent with me is not only never wasted—it’s the best time they could ever hope for.

Yours with purrfection,
Gryzka the Cat

P.S. If they try to sleep tonight without me on their pillow, they’ll be hearing from me. Loudly. At 3 AM.