The Forbidden Easter Feast

Easter has arrived. My human has a suspicious amount of food. This is concerning.

Chocolate eggs, pastries, and something that smells suspiciously like cheese have appeared on the table. Yet, despite the abundance, I am given none.

This is an injustice.

I, Gryzka, Master of the Hunt, shall not stand for such an offense. It is time to devise a master plan.

Phase One: The Innocent Approach

I sit beside my human and stare at her with my biggest, roundest, most pitiful eyes.

She glances at me. “No, Gryzka. Chocolate is bad for you.”

Lies. I don’t believe her.

I nudge her hand. Purr. Look adorable. Surely, she will break under pressure.

She does not. She laughs and eats a piece of chocolate right in front of me. Right in front of me!

The betrayal.

Plan A has failed. Time for Plan B.

Phase Two: The Distraction Tactic

While my human is distracted by her weird glowing screen, I leap onto the table and inspect the forbidden feast.

The chocolate eggs are shiny and wrapped in crinkly paper. Too risky. The pastries, however… perfect.

I extend a paw, inching toward a delicious-looking croissant—

“Gryzka!”

I freeze. She has caught me.

I quickly retract my paw and pretend to clean my face. I was never reaching for the pastry. I am innocent.

She narrows her eyes. She does not believe me.

She picks me up and puts me on the floor. Again. The disrespect.

Phase Three: The Stealth Mission

Later, my human goes to the kitchen. The table is unguarded.

This is my moment.

With the silence of a trained spy, I slink across the floor, jump onto a chair, and onto the table. My prize awaits.

I bite into the soft, flaky pastry—

“GRYZKA!”

She has returned too soon.

I grab the pastry with my teeth and attempt to flee, but she is too fast. She snatches it away. My hard-earned victory is stolen.

The injustice burns deep in my soul.

Phase Four: The Ultimate Betrayal

To add insult to injury, she laughs and takes a piece of ham from her plate.

“Oh, so you want this?” she teases.

Yes. Finally. She understands.

She hands it to Kitka instead.

KITKA.

The outrage. The pain. I have been betrayed on the holiest of holidays.

Conclusion: The True Easter Lesson

Defeated, I retreat to my spot by the window, brooding over my losses.

But I am not one to give up.

Tomorrow, she will let her guard down. The pastries will return.

And when they do… so will I.