November has arrived — that glorious time of year when humans start saying, “I should really exercise again,” while simultaneously melting into blankets and pretending not to see their slippers under the couch.
But not me. Oh no. I, Gryzka the Magnificent, have already begun my November Fitness Challenge: Chasing the Invisible Thing Under the Carpet.
I sprang into action. 🐾💨
With the reflexes of a ninja and the grace of a ballet dancer (who occasionally slides into furniture), I pounced. The rug wobbled. The thing escaped. I pounced again. Nothing. I pawed the air. Still nothing.
The human looked up.
“Gryzka… what are you doing?”
Oh, human. What am I doing? I’m saving the household from an unseen threat, that’s what I’m doing. Do you want to be eaten by a rogue carpet creature? I didn’t think so. You’re welcome.
I continued my workout for the next forty-five minutes, engaging every muscle group:
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Front paw cardio 🐾
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Back leg lunges 💪
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Tail whips for balance
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Intense core rotations when I rolled upside down in confusion
At one point, Spurka joined in — but only to sit on my head and announce, “There’s nothing there.”
Classic non-believer behavior.
Kitka, of course, watched from the armchair like some judgmental referee, licking her paw and saying, “You missed it.”
Oh really, Kitka? Then why are your eyes following the same spot I’m attacking?
Finally, after a long battle, I froze. Ears twitching. Heart racing. The invisible thing stopped moving. Silence. Victory.
…until I realized the human had been vacuuming earlier, and the mysterious “creature” was just static electricity.
Still, I consider it a win. 🏆
My November Fitness Challenge was a roaring success — I burned calories, scared the carpet, and reminded everyone who the real protector of this house is.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must recover. Fitness is exhausting.
But if that invisible thing moves again — I’ll be ready.
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