Ah, what a satisfying day! My human mom still doesn’t fully understand the sheer joy I get from a good ol’ bunny kick. She thinks it’s just a cute little quirk of mine. But between us, it’s one of the best parts of being a cat.
It all started this morning when she tried to get me to play with that ridiculous feather toy. I mean, really? A feather on a string? Do I look like I’m that easily amused? I ignored it, obviously, and she finally gave up. But as she reached down to pet me, I saw my chance.
Her hand was right there, just asking for it. So, I went for it—grabbed her arm with my front paws and unleashed a flurry of bunny kicks. Pow, pow, pow! She never saw it coming. The look on her face —priceless.
She laughed and called me “feisty,” which I think is human-speak for “master of the surprise attack.” She’s so naive, thinking this is just play. No, no, this is training. Every kick, every grip, honing my skills for…well, I’m not sure yet. But when the time comes, I’ll be ready.
And let’s not forget the soft, squishy satisfaction of it all. Her arm makes the perfect target—just the right amount of resistance but never too much. I think she secretly enjoys it too. Why else would she keep offering her arm for more?
Later in the day, I even gave her an extra session while she was watching that boring glowing box she’s always staring at. She was completely distracted, so I pounced, wrapped my paws around her leg, and kicked away. She squealed! Actually squealed like a kitten. It was delightful.
But I can’t let her think I enjoy it too much. After all, a cat has a reputation to maintain. So, after a few more kicks, I let go, gave her the ol’ “I’m too cool for this” look, and sauntered off to lick my paws in victory.
Of course, I’ll keep this little hobby going. It’s too much fun to give up, and besides, it keeps her on her toes. Or her back, depending on how hard I kick.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I see my mom settling in with a book. Perfect time to launch another sneak attack!
With paws of fury,
Gryzka, the Bunny-Kicking Queen
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