Friday, August 8, 2025

I Found an Ant. Named Him Edgar. Then Ate Him.

 It all began on a lazy August afternoon.

The fan hummed. The curtains swayed.
Ania was talking to a houseplant again.
And then… I saw him.

Edgar.
Small. Determined. Surprisingly fast.
A lone ant. Marching across the kitchen floor like he had somewhere to be.



🌿 The Courtship

I watched him for ten minutes.
He ignored me.
Naturally, I was intrigued.

I pawed gently. He zigzagged.
I pawed again. He panicked.
Romance!

We had chemistry.
By which I mean I knocked over a glass of water chasing him and it fizzed near an outlet.


📖 Our Story Was Brief, But Intense

  • He ran.

  • I followed.

  • He paused dramatically near the fridge.

  • I blinked slowly. He waved an antenna (probably).

  • We shared a moment.

  • Then I licked him up.


🕯️ I Regret Nothing

Ania screamed,

“GRYZKA! Did you just EAT that?!”

I made eye contact.
Sat down.
Burped silently.

This is nature, darling.


🐜 In Loving Memory of Edgar:

  • Lived bravely

  • Ran erratically

  • Tasted like crunchy disappointment and power


🎭 Final Thoughts:

Sometimes you meet someone who changes your life.
Sometimes you eat them.
Either way… I grew from the experience.
Mostly sideways.

Respectfully,
– Gryzka 🐾
Ant whisperer. Emotionally complex. Digestively fearless.

No comments:

Post a Comment

THE MIDNIGHT MOTH INCIDENT

 It was a quiet night. Too quiet. The humans were asleep. Spurka was drooling on the pillow. Kitka was twitching in her sleep, probably chas...